Posted by: slcsln2010 | January 18, 2011

Square 1, or rather square -1.

Looks like I am back at the beginning.  Again.  2 months into my journey and stress got to me and I let it defeat me.  If there were a title match between me and the holidays the holidays would be wearing the belt with me in the corner licking my wounds.  Wait, I still am licking my wounds.  Then there was all of the travelling I did and not making healthy choices during the trips, as well as other things to raise my anxiety and stress.  So what did I do?  Turned to food.  Yummy, delicious, not-good-for-me food. I gained back what I lost and a few (just a few) extra.

My question to me is how do I deal with everything that is going on?  How do I not feel guilty for not being there to help my mom?  She had surgery that hinders her from doing just about anything.  Her husband had surgery 2 days before that so he is stuck in the hospital indefinitely.  I wish I could be there and help her take care of things but I can’t.  I have responsibilities here.

Another blow to me was the loss of a cousin from my mother’s side of the family.  He was 38 years young.  From what I was told, he died from congestive heart failure, most likely due to his weight even though he had lost a hundred pounds.  This scared me.  I think that is why I have been a little down since I got home from the funeral yesterday.  About 1/2 of the people there, both family and friends were overweight or obese.  There were more obese family members than obese friends.  This fact is hard for me to take.  My father’s side has also had some hefty people on it.  I have the deck stacked against me, genetically speaking.  I know that is a poor excuse but it is the truth.  I need to fight this and win for my daughter’s sake.  I don’t want to leave her motherless due to and early death and I want to teach her good habits by practicing them myself.  She is small for her age at this point, but then again, so was I at that age.

So here we go taking another step forward.  I say we because it needs to be a family effort.  There are only 2 adults here and one toddler but we can all work together towards a healthier life.

 

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Posted by: slcsln2010 | December 29, 2010

This in not a geographical formation.

Ok. I will finally admit that I have hit a plateau.  Yep.  It’s most likely cause is that I have not been all that careful with what I have been eating.  Plus, I know I haven’t been exercising as much as I should be.  Ok, so really at all.  My husband even got me Just Dance 2 for our Yule gift exchange.  It’s fun but there really has been a gloomy cloud hanging over the house.  Husband is sick and I can’t seem to keep my energy at a good level.  As several important people in my life have said..”This, too, shall pass.”  Please, oh Devine One, please let me sleep with no interuptions tonight.  This includes, but is not limited to, baby crying, cats fighting and cats attacking any part of my body.  One of my fingers looks like I got it caught in a machine that perforates things.  Anyways, I am all for getting things together, but at the moment, I just don’t have the energy.  😦

Posted by: slcsln2010 | December 21, 2010

Success!!

There are a couple of points of success.  First, my weigh this past Saturday showed I lost 2.6 lbs.  Now that didn’t seem to last long as my daily weights show that I have gained again, but we shall see what this weekend will show.

The other success was our family get together.  It was fun, the food was delicious and the atmosphere was wonderful.  Snow on the ground made it a “white Christmas.”  I am looking forward to my Yule celebration with my husband and daughter.  Not as much food but still lots of fun.

Posted by: slcsln2010 | December 16, 2010

Knee deep in it.

As we are knee deep into the holiday season, I haven’t made much progress.  My last weigh-in I missed due to being on the road.  I have pretty much hit a plateau.  With family coming to visit this weekend I am looking forward to some really good food.  I am, however, making a healthier menu than we had last year.  The things that will remain the same are the turkey, gravy and rolls.  I am replacing stuffing with a vegetable rice bake, green bean casserole with sauteed green beans and almonds, candied sweet potatoes with roasted sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes with pureed cauliflower.  I will also be making the cranberry sauce.  Nothing from a can.  I am planning to make a dessert but I am not sure what to make.  Anyway, as long as I keep busy and keep my portions manageable I should be fine.  I am especially looking forward to time with the family.

Posted by: slcsln2010 | December 11, 2010

On the road again.

So I am travelling again.  The challenges that come with travelling have all come up.  Sleep schedule being thrown off and lack of healthy meal choices are the top two.  I know I could do my own grocery shopping when I get to my destinations, but that is the last thing I really want to do.  I want to visit with family and relax.  At least I know I am getting some exercise with the stairs at my mom’s.  I don’t have any by me, so I will take that as a bonus.  This week’s weigh in will be  one day late since I won’t be home until late Saturday night or early Sunday morning.  That’s ok with me.  I will have to keep reminding myself to just keep it healthy as much as I can.

Posted by: slcsln2010 | November 30, 2010

What a weekend.

I gained a couple of pounds.  Am I really that surprised?  Not really.  I mean, it was Thanksgiving, after-all; and I decided that it was OK to enjoy the things that I don’t make at home.  I also traveled, so stopping and eating not-so-healthy meals wasn’t a good idea either.  But they were so good.  So, this leaves me one course of action.  Don’t worry about it, and just keep moving forward by planning meals and measuring.  Making sure I am in bed a decent hour will also make a difference.

Posted by: slcsln2010 | November 24, 2010

Giving Thanks

I am thankful for all of my friends and family who have supported me through my successes and pitfalls. I am thankful for my husband, whom no matter what, keeps a smile on my face.  I am thankful for my daughter.  She truly was and still is a surprise and a blessing.  To everyone reading this: Have a safe and wonderful holiday!

Posted by: slcsln2010 | November 21, 2010

Retail Therepy

I don’t go shopping to make myself feel better, even though it usually does.  I make the 45 minute trip to the nearest big city, which is really not that big, to do any major shopping.  Yesterday, I did just that.   I picked up some odds and ends as well as got a 12.5 lb turkey for 5 bucks.  It’s great to get out of the house sans child once in a while.  Not only did I get things I needed in the house, but I picked up a couple that I wanted.  First, I got myself a Misto oil sprayer for cooking so I don’t have to get separate cans of cooking spray.  Second, I picked up myself a couple new pairs of jeans.  So they are not the size I wore prior to getting pregnant, but they will do.  I will wear them until they fall off of me.  I was just happy to have more than 3 pairs of pants to wear during the winter.  I mean, I could also wear the capris that I have, but I don’t own any funky patterned knee socks to wear with them.  At least, not yet.  I haven’t put the jeans on for the hubby yet, but I will, and I am sure he will love them.  I am looking forward to being able to wear all of the other pairs of jeans that I have packed away, even the ones I wore in high school.  Funny thing is that they are the same numerical size as I wore before I got pregnant but they didn’t fit and probably won’t until I lose at least another 75 lbs.  And so I march on to lose another pound this week.

Posted by: slcsln2010 | November 17, 2010

Say Cheese!

So, I figure it’s about time I put pictures up on here.  I know it’s not a requirement but visual cues can help keep up the motivation.  With that thought, I am posting a couple of pictures that may not be very flattering, but when you are as heavy as me, there are few photos that truly are.

This one is the day I came home from the hospital with my daughter.  I weighed myself just to see how much I lost giving birth.  Answer: none!!  What a downer, I thought I could have had at least a head start.

This was in Ireland at Poulnabrone Dolmen Portal Tomb in County Claire.  I figured this was the closest picture that I have to where I was when I started this journey.  I started losing weight before I started writing about it.  At 25 lbs less than my top weight, I don’t look much different.  I felt different as some of my clothes started fitting better, but there are times where I still feel like I am carrying a kid inside.  I figure I will take another picture after I am out of the 300’s.

Writing some of this can be depressing.  I see it as therapeutic. I don’t like the way I look, therefore I am changing it.  This week has been rough with my stomach still giving me issues, but I am still eating.  I don’t think, however, I have been eating well.  Actually, I know I haven’t.  This means I have to “start” again.  There will be many of these “starts,” but that’s ok.  I am allowed as long as I keep moving forward.  Now where did my food scale go?

Posted by: slcsln2010 | November 13, 2010

Things are looking up…sort of.

The good news is that I lost weight.  The questionable part is it could have been due to the new medication I am on.  Apparently, some of the side effects include nausea and loss of appetite.  My appetite is still there some, it’s just feeling nauseated for most of the day makes wanting to eat a little daunting.  That’s where the paying attention to how I am feeling before, during and after the meal has become vital.  If I do eat too much, I will very likely not keep it down.  That may be a bit too much information but that is how I have been feeling for most of the week.

Looking ahead, I am contemplating actually making meal plans.  This would include more small meals during the day and the one dinner with my husband and baby.  Smaller meals would consist of soups, salads and sandwiches to make it easier for the planning.  Cereal also works well for this.  I need to make sure I don’t forget to add plenty of veggies and fruit, so we shall see how that goes.   The meal planning will help with two aspects: making sure I am eating enough throughout each day as well as the grocery budget.  Losing weight is not cheap in the short run, but I think it outweighs the cost of healthcare in the long run.

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